Traveling with a sense of calm

I have my sidewalk. It has all the systems in place necessary to operate. Now I need to call in Xzibit so he can "pimp my sidewalk". Actually, I won't call in 'X to the Z', he's not mellow enough. I'll probably call in a great speaker. Someone like Tony Robbins or Bill Clinton. In order to really make my sidewalks a complete and enriching experience, I will install speakers into them, and will play various motivational and soothing diatribes from some of the world's greatest speakers. The real question is, how do I record their thoughts? Well, there is a very simple way. Its called audacity. All I have to do is put a microphone in a computer jack and tell them to yap away. In order to conserve memory, I will probably use an MP3 file instead of a .WAV file. This is because this type of file takes less memory and would allow me to have a more speakers on my soundtrack list. These soundtracks will make the sidewalk a hit among the very stressed out detractors who simply look at the cost and the lack of necessity of a moving sidewalk. Once they are calmed down by the .MP3 files, they will see the convenience of the sidewalk, and will wonder how they ever lived life without one.
There really won't be too much secret information on my computer, however I want to make sure that I protect all the information that is on there. I would not want a competing sidewalk maker getting a hole of my information and using it to ruin my business. In order to do this I will have to overwrite all of my files 0s, random numbers, or the contents of a new file. People may be able to still ripe off the files, however, it seems unlikely, because it would be incredibly cumbersome and expensive. Something that probably isn't worth it in the moving sidewalk business.

The body of the moving sidewalk

Like I've said before, the moving sidewalk is a lot like a computer. This means that it must have a lot of parts like a computer. The motherboard will be a central part of the sidewalk. In fact, its been called the central nervous system of the computer. The motherboard will control all the other parts of the sidewalk and make sure that they do their job. Most of the other parts of the computer won't be very necessary, except for the memory. This will help when someone needs to save sidewalk settings. These settings will include when to turn on and off, and  how fast the sidewalk should move. However, the other facets of a computer such as a the DVD/CD-ROM, printers, and a floppy disk drive...those probably won't be too necessary in the maintenance of the sidewalk. Speaking of maintenance of the sidewalk, when new technology develops and the sidewalk becomes obsolete as a result, an upgrade will be necessary. What do with the old technology we've removed? Throw it in the dumpster next to Whitman? Probably not. Many of the components of a computer are horrendous for the environment. They include substances like lead and arsenic. The sidewalk should provide a service, and it should not destroy the environment in the process. We can take all the old pieces to OCRRA Computer Recycling. Its located pretty close, on 5085 Court Street Road in Syracuse. It's probably less than a five minute drive from campus... or about a 15 minute sidewalk ride. 

How much memory does a sidewalk really need?

A moving sidewalk is a lot like a computer. It needs to have a binary code to let it know when to turn on. It can't be moving forever, that would just be a gross waste of energy. Also, it needs a certain amount of memory in it. In order to operate smoothly, you probably need 1 TB of data, the equivalent of 1,000,000 minutes of music. This so that we avoid any complications with the sidewalk, and controlling the speed and such. Other than that, it doesn't really seem like running a moving sidewalk is such a complicated process. A 0 in the binary code means that it should stop,  a 1 means go. We could conceivably alternate speeds during the day, which would make the process more complicated, however, its probably better to have one standard speed so as not to discriminate against anyone who has time crunches at various points in the day. Therefore, the actually operation process would not take that much energy/memory. Its likely that 1 TB is probably overkill. 

Soft-Ware to avoid the hard walk

So we have our sidewalk idea. We have the funding. Now how the hell does it work? In order to get the sidewalk working, we need to install software. The software is the center of the operation, it is the one that tells everything else what to do. When the gears move and the sidewalk starts churning, its because the software instructed something to make sure that process occurred. Algorithms will instruct the parts of the sidewalk on how to move. This is very complex, because not one detail can be left out. The machines are not like people and the assumption is that the knowledge they start out with is a base of zero. Software is very important in the creation of our sidewalk. Without it, we won't be able to move the sidewalk, and then we have wasted all of the money we made in the second hand clothing costume business on a regular sidewalk. Speaking of which, I should probably go. I need to call a software programmer. 

How to fundraise for my sidewalk project

So now that I have decided what needs to be done to save lazy people of the world like myself from cramps and leg pain, we need to finance it. Making a moving sidewalk throughout the entire SU campus is an expensive endeavor, and one that I don't believe that Chancy Nancy will be willing to pay for. Therefore, we need to create a source of commerce, and what better place to go then the internet? 

While it would seem reasonable to just create a site asking for charitable donations to the "cause", my better judgement tells me that that won't work too well. 

Therefore, I've decided to create an e-commerce site. This site will take second hand clothing, and combine the items into various costumes that people can wear at themed parties. It is a necessity, because people often go to the Salvation Army in order to get the costumes they want. This is bad for two reasons. First, it takes clothes away from people who need the clothes. Second, it leaves the people to sift through an entire store in order to find the perfect combination for their combination. With 2ndhandcostume.com, the costumes will already be arranged for the person. Need to be a rockstar? We'll have the tight leather pants to go along with the ridiculous neon green button down shirt. Raising capital for the site won't be too challenging, because its such a fascinating idea that does not cost very much money. The supply of second hand clothing is far greater than the demand for it. Therefore, the profit margin will be high, and the time it won't take much time to raise the money. 

By creating this site with a niche audience (18-28 year olds going to party), we can sell advertising for a high premium, because this niche is a high target audience. 

With the money that we take from advertising and selling the clothing, we should be able to pay for our moving sidewalks, and keep all the lazy and obese people happy on their perilous walks to class.